The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So squirting runs in the family.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
