Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
