remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
