Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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