no. you can't hotbox the world.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
