I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dick very happy bro
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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