I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This house was built for laser tag.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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