xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
