There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
