Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
