you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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