so that wasnt chicken after all
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
