exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
