oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
