Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She just used a chaser for red wine.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
God, I missed his penis.
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