Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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