I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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