Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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