the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
