Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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