quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize