He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
false alarm, still single
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
