She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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