I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
