i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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