Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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