she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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