Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
