i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think I just sharted jello shots
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