So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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