I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
