dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
