When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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