He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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