'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
