Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i drank out of a bidet.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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