watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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