too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize