My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
