Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
