I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
