no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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