Yo dont text me then not text me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize