official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize