We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
