My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize