do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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