He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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