Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
