So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
