so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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