My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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