I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize