i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
