Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
