He asked to "fluff my boner.."
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
