Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
