didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
