Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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