there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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