and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize