After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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