It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know her cup size but not her name....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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