she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Oh god it's open bar.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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