I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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