Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
