Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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