you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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