If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
